The NBA draft is, by its very nature, unpredictable. As much as pundits and fans like to pretend they know who will boom and who will bust, we don’t really know how these players’ careers will turn out. We think we know who’s going to make an impact in the league, we crunch numbers, measure wingspans, and assess intangibles like “poise” or “maturity”. These are all shots in the dark of the most egregious variety. We’re guessing, especially people, like myself, who have never played professional basketball. These are educated guesses, but they are guesses nonetheless. It is in the DNA of the draft to have no obvious answers, but somehow, last night’s edition of this sacred summer tradition made even less sense than usual.
Last night’s draft defied even the most astute observer. The top two picks went exactly as expected, with the Philadelphia 76ers taking LSU standout Ben Simmons and my beloved Los Angeles Lakers selecting Duke’s Brandon Ingram. After that, it was about as orderly and restrained as a scene from Police Academy 6. Pick three belonged to the Celtics and they chose Jaylen Brown of Cal, who carries the knock of not being a great shooter – something you can’t really get away with in today’s pace-and-space NBA. It’s why no GM is dying to do a deal with the Minnesota Timberwolves for Ricky Rubio. Brown’s jump shot only went in 31% of the time. That’s bad. What does Celtics GM Danny Ainge see in Brown? Was he supposed to be a trade piece for a swap that never happened?
Did anyone guess that the Milwaukee Bucks, a team that’s already got three lanky kids with gigantic arms, would draft the known unknown Thon Maker, who may or may not be 35 years old with three kids and a mortgage and has been holed up in some snowy, unreachable basketball camp like he was training for the fight at the end of Rocky IV. I can imagine Thon Maker chasing chickens around a yardand lifting a wooden wheelbarrow full of his best friends and family.
Does anyone know what the Sacramento Kings are doing? The Kings have three centers on their team, one of them being arguably the most talented pure five in the league – DeMarcus Cousins. Another one of those centers, Willie Cauley-Stein, was drafted last year. So, in the infinite wisdom of Sacramento general manager Vlade Divac, they traded for yet another center. The best part (for anyone not in the city of Sacramento, California) is that the guy they got – Georgios Papagiannis – was on no one’s draft board except for the one at Georgios Papagiannis’s house. I watched the draft at the offices of Bill Simmons’ sports and pop culture site The Ringer, home to some of the most astute young basketball writers on the internet, and when Phoenix took Papagiannis as a part of the Kings trade, literally no one in the room could make sense of it. Sadly, neither could DeMarcus Cousins. This is yet another nail in the coffin of his tenure in Sacramento. At this point, I think he’d rather go play for FC Barcelona than have to put up with the Kings’ nonsense.
Denver chose Juan Hernangomez from Movistar Estudiantes of the Spanish Liga ACB at number 15, who was 30th in the NBA TV mock draft. The only thing anyone knows about Movistar is that they have some absolutely fire jerseys. That might be the most underrated thrill of the NBA Draft — getting to see the uniforms of obscure European teams that only ESPN analyst Fran Fraschilla can recognize. The Sixers took French player Timothe Luwawu of the Serbian club Mega Leks with the 24th pick and his jersey immediately became a hot topic of conversation on basketball Twitter. You want to let that guy take you to the hole? He’s dressed like a bag of off-brand Skittles. Those uniforms make the Pistons’ teal monstrosities look like the Warriors’ throwbacks.
The Oklahoma City Thunder jersey that bears the name of Serge Ibaka is about to become a minor collector’s item, as the biggest story of the night involved Ibaka being sent to the Orlando Magic for Victor Oladipo, Ersan Ilyasova, and the draft rights to Domantis Sabonis – son of former Portland Trail Blazers player Arvydas Sabonis. Ibaka was a cornerstone of the Thunder’s recent run of success and his defense was integral Oklahoma City almost defeating the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference finals. His departure was another perplexing surprise on a night full of them. It remains to be seen if Oladipo can play next to Russell Westbrook in the backcourt. Does the arrival of Sabonis signal the end of Enes Kanter’s days in Oklahoma? Will Kevin Durant, the most coveted free agent in the league this summer, see this as restocking for another run at a ring or the first step in a painful rebuild?
That’s the best and worst part about the NBA draft – it asks more questions than it answers. It’s the beginning of the league’s most frenetic period. Free agency, wild trade rumors, and the promise of college players displaying their potential in Summer League make the offseason a joy to witness. It was only a few days ago that I watched LeBron James lift the Larry O’Brien trophy and I haven’t even had a second to forget about basketball. The NBA never shuts down, it never makes sense, and I can’t get enough of it.